Thriving outside, struggling inside

Nepal: Have you ever felt like you were simply going through the motions of life waking up, heading to work, offering a smile yet feeling utterly exhausted? It’s as if you’re on autopilot, pushing through each day because that’s what you’ve learned to do. Everything seems right on the surface, but deep down, something feels off.

 

With the increasing focus on mental health and psychology, depression is likely the first term that comes to mind when the topic is mentioned. However, despite the growing awareness in this field, it is unfortunate that depression continues to be only partially understood.

 

Depression is often associated with someone constantly crying in a dark room, staying in bed all day, feeling hopeless, and withdrawing from friends and family. While these are common signs, depression can sometimes manifest in ways that look completely different.

 

The lesser-known condition of high-functioning depression is often misunderstood or overlooked. It represents a silent struggle where someone appears to have it all together on the outside yet internally feels stuck, isolated, and drained.

 

They go to work, socialise, and meet their responsibilities, all while feeling like they’re merely pretending, just trying to get through each day without anyone realising their pain.

 

People with high-functioning depression may seem “fine” on the surface, making it hard for others to comprehend how someone who appears so composed could be battling depression.

 

But just because they’re showing up doesn’t mean they’re okay.

 

The emotional toll of high-functioning depression

 

High-functioning depression can leave a person feeling emotionally numb and detached from the world, as though each day is merely passing by while they watch from a distance instead of truly living it.

 

You may go through a whole day of meetings, conversations, and responsibilities, yet you still push yourself to perform because you feel like you must. That tiredness that tags along at the end of the day isn’t just physical—it’s emotional. It’s a draining cycle of putting on a façade of being fine while internally feeling like something is missing or, worse, like you’re trapped in your own mind.

 

Imagine waking up every day feeling like you’re already exhausted before the day begins. The idea of getting out of bed, putting on clothes, and facing the day feels like a monumental task. But you do it anyway. You’ve mastered the art of appearing normal, engaging in conversations, and showing up for others while your emotional battery is running low.

 

It’s the kind of tiredness that doesn’t go away with a good night’s sleep or a weekend getaway.

 

You might not cry in front of people or let on that something’s wrong, but underneath it all, you feel like you’re wearing a mask. At social events, you might smile, joke, and participate in conversations, but inside, you feel disconnected from the people around you, like you’re just playing a role instead of being present.

 

High-functioning depression can often feel like an endless cycle. You get up, and do what needs to be done, but you never feel like you’re getting anywhere while your energy is consumed by just trying to keep up.

 

The more you function on autopilot, the more you feel disconnected from yourself and the more hopeless it can feel.

 

It can feel like you’re falling short of your potential, watching everyone around you move forward while you remain stuck. You might start questioning why the things that once brought you joy no longer ignite the same passion. The hobbies you once cherished and those you loved spending time with now seem distant as if they’ve lost their significance.

 

Difficulty in seeking help

 

Many people dealing with this type of depression don’t seek help, believing they should manage it on their own. Even when they open up to loved ones, they are often met with dismissive comments like, “Why do you need help? There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s all in your head,” which can make them feel even more isolated.

 

But the truth is, even if someone manages to get through the day, that doesn’t mean they are thriving. And it certainly doesn’t mean one should suffer in silence just trying to appear normal.

 

Here’s the thing: It’s okay to admit that you’re struggling. You don’t have to have everything figured out. If you’ve been pushing yourself to the point of burnout, it’s time to listen to your body and mind, and take a step back.

 

While it might feel like that heavy weight will never lift, there are ways to start caring for yourself and taking steps toward healing. Remember that you’re worthy of care and attention. You deserve to feel better, and you can get there, step by step.

 With the right support, you can return to feeling like yourself again.