The bumpy road to healing

“Don’t stress,” is probably the most common and what I consider the most ineffective piece of advice that people give out to someone going through a tough time. Such an unhelpful statement does not help when we hit a rough patch.

 

But yet, the fear of facing that awkward silence after someone tries to ease their emotional burden in front of us, makes us feel that anything is better than silence. And thus, to fill out that awkward void, we blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, even if it lacks the empathy that is being sought.

 

To a person facing mental health challenges, advice like “do not think about it”, and “be tough, do not be bothered by it”, may feel like an insensitive pinch of salt over their wounds. Healing is so much more complex than just thinking about one’s problems. And it is not a smooth sail.

 

The journey towards healing may be long and wary for some, to others, it might be relatively easier, but it is not a straight path for anyone.

 

There will be many days when the pain hidden in some corner of the heart may try to creep up and make an appearance. On those days, one might be left questioning themselves and their worth, accompanied by self-doubts, tears and sleepless nights.

 

These questions may sometimes make you debate if things are even getting better and make you yearn for the days when you will finally stop feeling this way. But these questions are the very signs of healing.

 

The fact is, with every tear that you have shed, you have also left behind a drop of pain. With every night spent ruminating over the past, you have, unknowingly, understood yourself better. And, with every finger you pointed at your worth, you forced yourself to look deep into your soul and found something of value.

 

Yes, you were wounded and you will have scars, but they will also be the very reminders of your resilience.

 

It is perfectly okay to have a “bad day” once in a while, for they are reminders, not only of how much it still hurts but also of how far you have come along and how much stronger you have gotten.

 

Sometimes, the ghosts of the pain from our past might try to haunt us. The ghost may try to scare us or even engulf our thoughts with fear. In times like such, we may feel vulnerable, sad, angry, or even disappointed in ourselves for feeling weak.

 

Recognising that we need extra love from ourselves is what makes us strong not weak! So, instead of judging ourselves for feeling vulnerable, we must accept what has happened and not let it stop us from living in the present.

 

On the journey of healing, self-compassion becomes a guiding light. It’s about extending the same kindness and understanding to ourselves that we would offer to a dear friend in pain. It involves validating our emotions without judgment, allowing ourselves to feel them without guilt or shame.

 

One day, you will be able to laugh at the situations that once used to affect you; that day, you will leave the pain behind, but moving forward, remember to take the lesson from what has happened.

 

Extract wisdom from your wounds, recognise the lessons you learned while falling and use those lessons to find clarity in your path forward.

 

On this journey, you will be forced to confront your vulnerabilities, come face to face with your imperfections and learn to embrace them, releasing the hold they have over you.

 

It’s a process of exposing our raw and tender parts to the light. It requires courage to acknowledge our flaws and weaknesses and to sit with them without judgment or condemnation. Thus, in doing so, we discover that our imperfections are not something to be ashamed of, but rather, they are integral parts of who we are.

 

The bumpy road of healing gives us a chance to harness the power within ourselves to transform our pain into strength. Only then do we rise above our pain.

 

Sometimes, when your symptoms try to peek through, do not be afraid to look at them in the eyes, for it does not mean you haven’t healed, it is just a reminder of what you have overcome and how far along you have arrived.

 

Sujina manandhar

kathmandupost